As they say, a house is just a building, a structure made of walls and a roof. When a sense of love, caring and security is added, the house becomes ‘a home.’ Just like oxygen in the air, the intangible concept of ‘home’ is an essential feeling of harmony that lives and thrives within the hearts of the family members. Perhaps that’s why we say ‘feel at home’ to mean to be part of that harmony.
A building can be small or shared; people living there can be an extended family, a joint family, a nuclear family, a single parent, or even a family of one; however, the feeling of being ‘at home’ is universal and equal – the absence of which renders even a mansion to be just a bunch of inert walls! Probably the term ‘House’ refers to a real estate property at some street address, whereas feeling at ‘Home’ develops and lives in the hearts of the people at that address.
Expressed so aptly in a Gujarati proverb that (although the Earth being round, i.e. having no end) “The end of the earth is home,” or in other words, in this world full of exotic destinations and exciting travels, the journey back ‘home’ always feels the most relaxing.
A ‘home’ serves as a fertile ground for the family tree to take roots and flourish. A loving home provides a sanctuary, the source of rejuvenating springs of love, warmth, acceptance and belonging, where one can lower all guards and just be oneself.
The blissful bond of belonging-to-the-home acts as a thread that holds everyone together to create a beautiful garland called family vs. just a bunch of people collocated at a same address. The homemaker and those who contribute in family-nurturing deserve great appreciation for the feelings of warmth and love that we recall when we think of “Home”. Homemaking means selfless giving of yourself for family.
In the past, the spouse/parent who primarily focused on managing the home front and nurturing the family (instead of working for money) was almost always the woman; hence the term ‘HouseWife’ became associated with that role. With changing times, (majority of them still being women) occasionally, men take up the role of ‘homemaking’- hence came the more appropriate, gender-neutral term ‘The HomeMaker’.
As a full time or part-time HomeMaker, many of you make great personal and professional sacrifices so that you can nurture the family, at times at a cost to your own career development.
Giving of yourself selflessly is an act of grace, courage and compassion. Indeed, by doing so, you ensure that the family can have the best possible nurturing environment, and also the primary breadwinner can focus on the ‘work for money’.
We Need to Learn to Say “Thank You”
Many of us, who have never been in HomeMaker shoes, may never realize the importance of your sacrifices, the skills and patience it requires to do what you do. Still, while doing all that, you do it without making a big deal, many a times without getting any of the due appreciation.
Sometimes those who are in caregiver/nurturer/homemaker roles -despite the miracle-difference they may be making- might face internal debate about self-esteem/self-image within themselves. As beneficiaries of sacrifices made by them, we ought to be more expressive of our gratitude. We must frequently acknowledge, appreciate and make them feel proud of their life choices, helping them prove to themselves that it was all worth it.
Your Priority List
Priority #1-100:
Home and Family
Priority #101 onwards:
Your own desires and dreams
In your giving role, you do the job so well that sometimes we forget that once even you were on the other side, in our place. Not realizing that, we may think, how would you know about current trends or teenage stuff, or the business world or school/college/dorm life! When you’re taking care of our likings and preferences, how foolish of us to forget that not long ago you were on the other side of the table, you were the pampered one, you were on your path of a professional career, your priorities and preference were highest for your parents, your family and others.
We need to keep in mind that had you decided to focus on different things i.e. career/business then for sure you’d have been equally successful in the ‘working for money’ world as well. We need to understand that you’re ‘paying it forward’ which is very noble of you to do. Without asserting yourself, by putting our priorities first and cheerfully adjusting yours accordingly. We may not fully understand the importance of your work and its impact. Because as a society we’ve proven to be slow to recognize the ‘right’ things, for example, at one time we did not think it was important for women to have equal rights or the Emancipation Proclamation or civil rights and many other issues that (in hindsight) are ‘no brainer’!
Priceless Gifts
It is important that we also remember that the things that you do have value beyond monetary; that your contributions act as an anchor, creating the most precious legacy that anyone could ever give. Without the home that you create for us, any success would ring hollow, and without your comfort, the failures would be all the more crushing. Without you and your gift of nurturing love, we would all be drifting with empty hearts longing for that place called home.
These days family and home are more important than ever, and the task of homemaking is often thankless or taken for granted by those who benefit the most. If you are lucky enough to have that special person(s) in your life, we encourage you to take a moment to Hug your HomeMaker and say “Thank You”!